Oh No! Not Again!

One of the things I love and miss doing is travelling.  Last December, Dino and I are planning to fly abroad to spend some quality time together – just the 2 of us. But I think this will be put on a long hold.

Last 2012, we already booked our tickets for a 4 days 3 nights out of country trip. We requested my mom to fly to Cebu to oversee things and of course take care of Liam.  Unfortunately, my mom got sick and was confined not once, but twice while she was here with us in Cebu.  Glad that she’s very well now. Dino and I have to kiss our tickets goodbye though.

Last week month (this post has been sitting on my drafts for a month now), we had a week long meeting in our manila office. (info: Dino and I are working for the same company and in the same department. He is my immediate boss, talk about luck in work) we initially thought of bringing Liam along, but he’ll be skipping a week of school so we decided otherwise.  This time we requested my in-laws  to fly in and take care of the apo.

First Night in Manila, I wasn’t able to sleep well.  I thought to myself, namamahay lang ako.  I feel so agitated so I went to the living room, worked a little and slept there instead. 3 hrs tops (putol putol pa!).  Following morning, my MIL called and informed us that Liam has a slight fever and this is where the “story” begins.

Oh no! Not again No. 1:  Someone got sick with our plans of going out of country and this time it was Liam.  Okay, maybe it is really not due to our plans and it was just coincidence but I felt like the universe is telling us something.

Our first out of country trip together
Our first out of country trip together

Oh no! Not again No. 2:  Liam had seizure again.  He already had seizure last year when he caught that Herpangina virus (see my post here).  This really sucks since this was already the 2nd time it happened to him in a year’s time and worst, this time both Dino and I are in Manila.

Guilty mama story – Scientifically, I know that it was the fever that caused his seizure, but the superstitious side in me believes that it might also be due to their visit to the ER that afternoon.   You see, Liam have been complaining that his pee won’t come out.  So I got worried that he might have UTI. So his pedia advised us to bring him to ER so they can check his urine.  We did not know that ER will extract blood too.  Liam was super horrified that time (as per Lola’s kwento) that maybe, just maybe, this fear caused his fever to shoot up that night.  😦  So if we decided otherwise, he might not have seizure?

Mommy and Liam's bonding time
Mommy and Liam’s bonding time

Oh no! Not again No. 3:  Someone got hospitalized again.  Due to the seizure, his pedia advised us to have him admitted so he can be put under observation.  Seizure kasi is bad for the brain, especially if there is recurrence.  I think she also advised hospitalization to put us (Dino and me) at ease.  But AT EASE is the last thing that we can be.  Since we’re both in Manila, our in-laws have to be the one to go with him. Dino and I agreed that I fly back to Cebu and he stay behind and check if he can fly in day after.  He booked me in next flight we can get.  Ako na si Darna!

It was all worth it.  Lola was telling me how Liam was super weak and not in the mood but his demeanor changed once he heard my voice and saw me.  He was so lively na and daldal.  Here in the pic below, we are watching TV and he was back to his old self na except for the fact that he has IV on one hand.

Thanks to my MIL for being able to take pic. :)
Thanks to my MIL for being able to take pic. 🙂

I’m really thankful that my in-laws are here then, if not, I really don’t know what I’ll do.  Pero, as much as am thankful, I also empathize with them, imagine how hard it is for them to see their beloved first and only apo in that situation?  Even my mom cried when I texted her about Liam’s situation (and that’s just over the phone and Liam is already her 15th apo, how much more my in-law no?! haaay, this always makes me teary eyed) That’s why I really told Lolo and Lola that I hope they won’t get phobia and will still come and be willing to take care of Liam. hehe.  This was their first time kasi to come and take over.  Usually, at least one of us is here kasi when they visit.  I think di naman, since Lolo is scheduled to come next week.. whew!

Oh no! Not again No. 4:  We have to delay our plans of going out of country – na di kasama si Liam.  Yes, we are still planning to go abroad, pero this time, Liam is going with us! Crossing my fingers!! 🙂

Taken at the airport going to Manila...
Taken at the airport going to Manila…

I just want to share a thought/story on the guilt story I shared above. I’ve been discussing the film “Frozen” with my office mate.  We both agreed that what happened to Elsa was her parent’s fault.  We felt that they shouldn’t have kept Elsa’s power, they shouldn’t have her conceal it.  A lot of should haves and shouldn’t haves.  But after all these Oh no’s! I was able to relate to the Elsa and Anna’s parents.  We might think they should have done it otherwise, but all their decision that time was what they thought and knew best for their children – not just Elsa but for Anna too.  They did not ask her to conceal it for any bad reason, but for her own good too.   That realization is what’s keeping me going now.  Knowing that whatever Dino and I may have decided and will decide in the future, it will always be what we think is best for our family.

Marriage and Happily Ever After

Today, am letting you in a little secret.  Earlier last year, my marriage went through a little bump. Nothing too serious naman, no 3rd party, no drugs and no physical abuse naman. Pure Misunderstanding lang that came from stress and adjustment.

Funny as it may sound, it’s just now that we are going through our ‘adjustment period’.  Our relationship was more of a relaxed one.  Being a couple for almost 8 years before getting married helped us know each other very well.  We do have petty LQs , but that only last for 5mins then we’re back to our old loving self na. That’s how we started.

Well, a lot has been going on beginning of 2013, both with work and our family life, when we experienced the ‘bump’.  I personally have a lot of things planned out for the year that sometimes stresses me out if things did not went my way.  For sure you guys know what stress can do to us.

Anyway, I won’t bug you with details anymore, to keep it simple Dino & I talked it over and we started really working on our marriage.  A bit effort lang at first, pero with true love everything is easy and everything simply falls into place. 🙂

I also had some tools that helped us understand each other a bit more.  First was the love language test.  I first heard about this from my High School friend.  She shared this with us after she and her hubby learned it in a marriage seminar (I think it’s the seminar they attended prior their wedding).

It’s how we show our love for another individual.  It says that every individual has different ways of showing/feeling love for/from our loved ones.  We all have different love languages. That’s why sometimes we and our partners misunderstood each other, kasi we don’t have same love language.  There are 5 love languages – Words of affirmation; Acts of Service; Receiving Gifts; Quality Time; and Physical touch. I won’t be elaborating each anymore, I encourage you to try the test.  (click here)

After taking the test, it came out that my love language is Gifts and words of affirmation.  It’s not that am materialistic.  It’s knowing that my the other person remembers while we are apart.  Kesihodang maliit lang ang gift or mura lang.  Kahit nga ipitas lang ako ng bulaklak sa garden, kikiligin na ko. It’s the thought and effort that really counts for me.

As for the words of affirmation naman, I think this came about since that is one of the issues I had during the ‘bump” stage.  I felt so unappreciated.  So maybe while taking the test, nag reflect to.  Lucky for me, I was able to persuade Dino to take the test too.  It turned out that his naman were Acts of service and Time.

Knowing his love languages made me realize that he was showing his love for me na pala when he tries to help me and every time  he asks me to wash or help him clean the car.  Cleaning the car kasi became his pass time after we acquire his our new car.  While he does it, I usually do some of my chores then take a nap not knowing maybe my husband also wants to spend some time with me doing what he likes.  Anyway, after knowing that, I don’t really helped him clean kasi he’s a bit meticulous about it too, so I made it a point to bring him juice or ice cold water while I bake naman in the kitchen. I don’t take naps na or if pagod talaga ako, I ask him to nap with me instead.

There are also 2 articles that helped me realize my own faults and how to change the way I think. First was the blog post that became viral from Mr. Seth Adam Smith.  (You can see the post here) This post really got me, I even shared it in my FB account.  It says that marriage is not for us.  We marry for the one we love and the family we want to have with him/her.  I really encourage everyone to read it.  It’s really nice.

Another was an article that my dear friend posted in her FB page.  (see here) This is a long list, but what hit me the most was #4 – Don’t Interrupt!  I think I do this quite a lot to him, since most of the time, I know how he’ll react to things already and I know what he thinks na.  Pero it’s still important that we let them know that we value their opinions.  The rest on the list naman, I took note of.

And last but not the least is an advice I got from my dear friend – Prayers and changing one’s mindset.  In my case, it’s more of  knowing how he shows his loves.  Maybe, he’s not the type who sings and writes poems for you (just a sample), but it does not mean that he loves you less right??  E ako nga pinili nya pakasalan diba?!?!  And of course, lots and lots of Prayers.  Putting all my faith in Him.  Am not super religious but I make it a point to talk to Him and always ask for guidance especially when it comes to my family.

Lastly, am not sure what “Happily Ever After” really means.  But I do believe in this.  I believe that we work on our marriage and our family so we can have a our own “Happily Ever After”.  Maybe not early on the marriage but when we get older, when sex won’t do the trick or when dating becomes hard and impossible and when all your kids have their own lives na.  You will still have your partner beside you, reminiscing your love stories and telling silly jokes.  Or pwede ding holding hands while walking on the beach ang peg. Ang sweet isipin no?   I know that day will come for me and Dino.  Maybe not HHWW but our Happily Ever After will come.  If there’s one important thing Dino have taught me that is it’s normal for couples (married or not) to fight but our love will always prevail and we can always work things out.

How about you guys? Do you believe in “Happily Ever After”?

2013 xmas portrait 008
Happy New Year!

PS:  These are just my thought, others may think otherwise.

Do You Want Your Kid to be a Bully?

Ever since I got pregnant with Liam, I’ve always wanted him to be a bully.  I know bad mommy ako for thinking that. But here’s my defense and logic to that:  “Better that he’s the one bullying other kids, rather than him being bullied around by other kids.” O diba? May rason naman?!

These past few days was an eye opener for me.  I know. I know! Liam is only 2 and many things are still about to change. But still, this thought is bugging me.  Anyway, I realized that Liam is mabait. He is generous and di pala-away.  Which am really proud of.  But there is this little scary voice inside me that’s not letting me sleep for quite a few nights now.   I worry that he might be bullied around in school if di na nya kasama yaya nya sa room. I don’t want him coming home crying, or become an introvert or matraumatize dahil lang sa mga bully na bata no! (Blame this thought to stories I heard and read.. haaay)

Last week, a friend of mine came to visit me, and she brought her daughter, Hannah, along so Liam can play with her.  Liam was still having his afternoon nap when they arrived.  So when Liam saw Hannah, she was already at home playing, running and riding Liam’s new bike.  I thought Liam would cry or ask for his bike. Instead, he smiled and rode his green motorbike and played with Hannah.  This is when I realized my son is mabait.

What made me worry was while playing with their balloons, Hannah suddenly grabbed the one his playing with.  He was shocked at the action, but did not cry nor get the balloon back from her, kahit gusto nya ung balloon.  I was worried kasi am afraid that Liam don’t know how to fight for what he wants? OA ba ang reaction ko. I also think so, pero I can’t help it.

Later on, Hannah decided to ride his green motorbike naman. This time, Liam grabbed my hand, as if asking me to take his bike back and he was on the bridge of crying.  So I consoled him telling him that Hannah is just borrowing his bike.  I think he didn’t agree with me, cause in his own way, he said:  “Hana, rayd duwan.” (Hannah, ride other one while he points to his red bike).  Medyo proud moment ko ‘to as he was able to express himself.

The other day naman, while Liam is riding his rented Car Cart in SM, a 4yr old kid suddenly approached him and hit him on the chest.  Liam did not cry, I don’t think ganun din kalakas un. Pero I was shocked.  Liam ignored him lang and continued driving his car.  Donna even cried kasi sya daw ang nasaktan para kay Liam.

I, on the other hand, got so mad at the action, not at the kid (by the way, I think the older kid has a little psych problem, so I don’t really think it’s his fault).  I thought parents should be teaching their kids or if they already know their child have tendencies to hit other kids, they always need to be alert.  I know di naman maiiwasan that parents want their kids to be exposed, to enjoy din kahit pa ba may problem ung bata e.  Pero they need to be on the look out lagi.  Gusto ba nila sa kanila mangyari un? For their kids to be hurt by others? haaaay…

Anyway, with all these incidents, here are my realizations:

  1. Liam is a good kid.
  2. Liam knows how to fight for what he wants, we just have to motivate him to continue doing so.
  3. Dino and I are doing something right.  The fact that Liam don’t spank other kids, or grab other’s toys and doesn’t fight back when he was hit, means he is not exposed to violence.  He don’t even know what spanking is.  We never tried to spank him nor threat him with spanking.
  4. I don’t really want Liam to be a bully.  Ayaw ko rin ng sakit sa ulo. hehe
  5. I just want Liam to learn to defend for himself when he is older.   Huwag magpa-agrabyado sa iba.

Well, am happy with my realizations for now.  Makes my worries less and gives me better goals.  hehehe … I know we have a long way to go pa.  Kaya I will always pray pa din for God to guide us for the years to come.

Oh by the way, here’s a pic of Liam on his red bike. (A Birthday gift from Ninang Tita and Lola Ninang)

Liam: “Can we buy this please?”

Anak, if you are reading this now, you might not be the same as what am describing above. Nonetheless, you are still well loved and we respect you for who you are and who you will be.   Eto naman e sa ngayong 2 years old ka pa lang.   Daddy and Mommy will always be proud of you whoever or whatever you choose to be.

 

PS:  These are just my thoughts.. Others may think otherwise..

Contentment Part 2

Been meaning to write this follow up post for a while now. Well, some thoughts pop up in my mind that need clarifications. Kung di lang nasira laptop ko.. hehehehe

Well, first question I realized with my previous post was – What if we’ll have our second baby na? Will that mean I won’t be contented having 2? and ask for 3rd pa? (batok abot ko kay Dino nyan… hehe) Oh well, I’ll be contented on having 2. BUT!! (yes, there’s a but) will we just stop at being contented on having 2 kids? NO! we will strive harder to be the best parents we can be. Maybe not the best for others, but good enough to guide our kids to grow up the best they can be. Enough for them to respect and look back at their childhood with warmth in their hearts.

Another question that pops to mind, at dahil nga late ang post ko, Dino raised this too – Does it mean I’m not contended with Dino.  As I said in my previous post, am very thankful and blessed to have him as my husband. Pero, should we stop at having each other? NO! We will always work hard and do our best to grow and make our relationship stronger mentally, spiritually, financially, sexually and all the other -ly’s there is pa.

Ang point ko lang, I will always endeavor to do the best I can for the betterment of all. Lalo na pag pamilya ko na ang involve.

BOW!

Dreams

One of my 2012 resolution is to read at least ONE book a month. Yes! you read it right, at least one lang. That’s how bad a reader I am. hehehe..

Pero since I want to instill reading kay Liam, I want and need to read myself.  Well, di naman talaga Zero reading. Di lang hard core reader.  I read newspapers, Reader’s Digest, Self Help Books and novels, basta my Sister recommends it, basa ako. Pero I stopped reading newspaper when I was pregnant with Liam.  Kakalungkot lang ang mga news dito sa Pinas. hehe

Anyway, I’m writing this post to share what am reading right now.  I joined Bo Sanchez’s Truly Rich Club a couple of years ago and I got some free E-books from him. Forgot about it na nga, until I checked my tablet and nalipat ko pala dun mga books nya. 🙂

I like Bo Sanchez’s way of writing. Easy read yet you’ll learn a lot. He has his funny ways of writing too, kaya di boring. 🙂

First of his book I read was “8 Secrets of the Truly Rich”. This is when I started to learn how to save properly. Though, di ko sinasabing perfect na ang savings ways ko. hehe.. Pero this helped me a lot to realize what to prioritize and how to do it.

Currently, am reading his “How to Conquer your Goliaths”.  Here he shares that there are “7 Keys to a Champion’s Life”.  Will share it next post, as I stopped at Chapter 3.  Tell you why later.

He started this book with a short story. He retold Bible’s famous story: David and Goliath. But he did it in a way na he was able to emphasize how David focused on his Dream to get the reward that was promised and how he trusted God in defeating Goliath.

Second part of the book, this is where he elaborates the 7 keys he  mentioned.  I stopped after the third chapter, where he said that we need to repeat our dreams to ourselves every single day. He mentioned that years back, he wrote down all his dreams and everyday after that, he read it during his prayer time. He prays for it everyday.

I stopped reading the book cause I want to create my own dream book first before I carry on reading. I know naman what my dreams are – having our own house and lot, to be able to travel around world with my family and a lot more.. But I want to elaborate and be specific. Like how Bo explained it in the book. here are some of my notes…

  • Dreams bigger than one’s self – dreams that you are willing you’re passionate about the you are willing to die for it
  • Specific dreams – to be more specific about what you are dreaming about. what kind of house, what will the house be for. etc. etc.
  • Ok to be self-oriented as long as it’s not purely self oriented
  • Focus on the dream and not the Giant – don’t let one problem stop you from reaching your dream (in the book, he compared this with David focusing on the reward and not on Goliath)
  • Repeat the dream to yourself again and again – I will also include this in my daily prayer and maybe edit it along the way.

Oh well, will end this here and start with my dream book. By the way, he also suggested that if you’re not good with words, you may also make a picture out of your dreams (pwede ring collage diba!?) As creative as you can be. Effort kung effort, after all this is your future you’re preparing for. 🙂

 

Contentment

Not being Contended.. Is it a bad thing or is it good?

We just concluded our DC Dirt Game Showdown last  night.  All is well naman, except for a small glitch, small but very big impact. But Generally event was a success.  Oh well, this is not the story I want to share. hehehe

I am not tasked any particular job yesterday. I was just there to support the event, make sure all is smooth and help in any way I can. After the registration, all our colleagues went to stage, some backstage to take care of their assigned task during the game proper. So I decided to stay on the registration table to look after our stuff and answer any query there may be.

Aside from the gaming, we also gave out DC Stickers and DC 500 Vouchers. Since they were all busy na with the event proper, I also tasked myself to give out stickers and voucher.  Many really went to the table to ask for the stickers. Imagine, DC stickers made their days.  These stickers put smiles on their faces.  This is when this thought hit me.  Am I contented?

By the way, don’t get me wrong, I am happy and thankful for what I have now. I thank God for a wonderful husband who loves me unconditionally. (with all my pikon modes lately. hehehe..) I thank Him for blessing us with Liam, our bundle of joy, our stress reliever. I also thank Him for the loving and very supporting family we have, our work and our current status here in Cebu now. A lot to be thankful for.

Pero, am I contented. No, am not. I want more. I want to have more.  Our life now is wonderful, but why not make MORE wonderful? diba?

Being contended would mean not striving harder na. Not thinking of our future and letting things be as it is.  Para bang inabangan ko na lang ang susunod na kabanata.  I also believe that we make our own destiny.  Yes, the Lord may have plans for us, good plans mind you, pero he also gave us free will. So it is up to us which path to choose diba?

Some would say: “ano ba yan di ka na nakuntento?” Some naman: “Ano ba yan kuntento ka na na ganyan ang life mo?” Kalowka diba!?

So, is it wrong not to be contended? Is it wrong to want to achieve more? What do you say?

Before I really end my post, here’s a picture of Liam when he turned 1. That’s his Lolo carrying him.  Now, am I contented having him, no. Am very thankful and blessed to have him. But I want to have 1 more baby (boy or girl, pero girl sana) so Liam would have a someone to share his childhood stories with, someone who he knows na pagkakatiwalaan nya. I want him to have kasangga in life later on.

Liam turned 1. So cute in his Tiong Sam outfit.. That’s his proud Wowo (lolo) 🙂

PS.. These are just my thoughts.  Others may think otherwise.

Chinese Tradition

Have you heard of Chinese Grandparents loving their sons and grandchildren (grandsons to be specific) from their sons (apo sa anak na lalaki) more than  other grand children? Well, this is very typical in Traditional Chinese families.

Malas lang for me, since our grandparents (father side) died early. So di ko naranasan ung side na mas mahal ako kesa sa iba. (bitterness! hehe)

Anyway, why am I writing this post now? Wala lang feel ko lang, Kiber?!? hehehe. Jowk!

I was talking to my sis last week and we were talking about how her 2 kids are soooo different from each other. Kahit same parents and same way of pag-aalaga at pag papalaki, they grew up to be different people. (not my story to tell)

I was also telling her about the line I heard from a friend – “Parents cannot love their Children Equally.”  Weird line but true, kasi nga each child have different needs. Each person, or child for this matter, has their own way of thinking.  She agrees to this, since yun nga, her 2 kids are soooo different.

Ano naman connect nito!? Oo nga naman, anong connect nitong kwentong kong to sa title ko?! hehehe

I don’t how our conversation went na, pero we ended up talking about this tradition and how we both disagree to this practice. Here are some reasons why:

  1. Generally, girls are more obedient than boys, more studious din. And they are not pasaways.  Lesser headache;
  2. Parents invests more for their daughters. more fear, more worries, more sermons and a lot of other mores;
  3. Boys, after they get married will always follow their wives.  My mom once told me that my Aunt use to say that: “Husbands are Wives’ first born.” (oh well, more of, they need to take care of their own family na kasi. His first priority will be his family na.  – I need to have a disclaimer, baka my MIL will read this, am gotlay! hehehe)
  4. Lastly, at the end of the day, it will always be the daughters who will look after their parents / grandparents. Am not saying sons don’t care about their parents but they can only do as much. Siguro only 1 out of 100 will give their parents a bath or clean after they.. you know..

Diba!??

These are just my thoughts, I am not necessary right. Baka din bitter lang ako at naranasan ko na di ako mas love.. hehehehe..

Affected and Worried

A friend sent me an SMS yesterday which bothers me until today. She expressed that she wants to give up on her 2nd daughter already, how they are having hard time with her whenever she has tantrums. Now she is all stressed up cause her daughter doesn’t want to eat anything but clear soup, cracker and pork floss. Last line of her SMS is what bothered me, she said that if there is only a taker, she will give her daughter to them.

Am like.. WHOAH!! hep! hep! hep! Is she serious? Anyway, I know she have said this only out of frustration. Don’t get me wrong, this friend of mine is really nice and she loves her daughters very much. Pero siguro nga sobrang hopeless na siya cause nothing works with her youngest. She, by the way,  have a daughter as first born too. And the eldest is very mabait. She always follows her mom and she’s very matalino too.

I know being a mom myself that it can sometimes be frustrating. We always want what’s best for our kids and it’s frustrating when ways we know how are not working.  I can remember how upset I was when Liam would throw up every meal. It made me think irrationally and always have doubts on myself.  Buti nalang, nawala ung phase ni Liam na yun, or else, baka naloka na ko now. hehe

I also remember frustration sa sleeping naman, but this, admittedly, is partly my fault. Kasi when Liam was born til around 6 to 7 months, I prefer him sleeping on my chest/shoulders.  I just love the feeling. Aside from that, I rock him to sleep (hele). Problem came about when he is getting heavier na… KOW! sakit sa likod at stiff neck lagi ang abot ko. So we decided to practice him to sleep on the bed.. At nakow! ‘Di sya mabilis. There are times na we will have crying feats.

When he was one na, he got sick. I was so naaawa so I cradled him to sleep and let him sleep on my shoulders again. Naku! parang addiction lang, nagkarelapse! Pero glad to say now he can sleep on his own na sa bed. Minsan pa karga konti, lambing lambing, then he will turn to signal me to put him to bed na.

Anyway, back to my topic, our conversation also made me worried. Why kamo?

Dino and I just decided to have our 2nd baby na. We are hoping that we’ll have a girl but of course, we’re not sure ano ang ipagkaloob ni Lord samen diba? If baby will be a girl, for sure no problem. Everyone’s excited to have a baby girl na.  We’ll need to train and make Liam ready lang to have a baby sister.

Pero what if baby boy!? Baka i-compare sya kay Liam. kawawa naman. Then another problem striked, baka si Liam din mas mag selos since baby boy din or the baby brother will compare himself to Liam growing up. Liam has everything kasi right now. Since isa pa lang sya, we can afford pa more luho for him. Isa pa, he is the first apo/pamangkin in Dino’s side. So well loved talaga. Pano pag may 2nd baby na, more gastos for necessities less luho, and laging hand me down na sya. Haist! (mental note: ipamigay mga luma ni Liam so no hand me downs.. hahahahaha.. Joke!)

I also worry for Liam, baka maghanap sya ng attention, since he was used to be attended by everybody. He is used to sya lang katabi sa bed. Baka di masanay na may kashare and all.

I know these worries are far from reality pa, mas dapat kong problemahin now is makabuo muna. hehehehe. But still diba? I know this will also come from us parents, para walang selos, walang comparison.  We need to instill good values sa mga bata, etc etc etc. Pero tao lang tayo and we make mistakes.

Kaya nga I pray to the Lord to guide us to be the best parents we can be. Na if we’ll make mistakes, not too big a mistake naman na pag sisihan namen ng bongang bonga! For Him to give us the wisdom and alertness na makaisip ng tama lagi. For Him to give us big hearts, to love our kids the way they need to be loved.

AMEN!