Do You Want Your Kid to be a Bully?

Ever since I got pregnant with Liam, I’ve always wanted him to be a bully.  I know bad mommy ako for thinking that. But here’s my defense and logic to that:  “Better that he’s the one bullying other kids, rather than him being bullied around by other kids.” O diba? May rason naman?!

These past few days was an eye opener for me.  I know. I know! Liam is only 2 and many things are still about to change. But still, this thought is bugging me.  Anyway, I realized that Liam is mabait. He is generous and di pala-away.  Which am really proud of.  But there is this little scary voice inside me that’s not letting me sleep for quite a few nights now.   I worry that he might be bullied around in school if di na nya kasama yaya nya sa room. I don’t want him coming home crying, or become an introvert or matraumatize dahil lang sa mga bully na bata no! (Blame this thought to stories I heard and read.. haaay)

Last week, a friend of mine came to visit me, and she brought her daughter, Hannah, along so Liam can play with her.  Liam was still having his afternoon nap when they arrived.  So when Liam saw Hannah, she was already at home playing, running and riding Liam’s new bike.  I thought Liam would cry or ask for his bike. Instead, he smiled and rode his green motorbike and played with Hannah.  This is when I realized my son is mabait.

What made me worry was while playing with their balloons, Hannah suddenly grabbed the one his playing with.  He was shocked at the action, but did not cry nor get the balloon back from her, kahit gusto nya ung balloon.  I was worried kasi am afraid that Liam don’t know how to fight for what he wants? OA ba ang reaction ko. I also think so, pero I can’t help it.

Later on, Hannah decided to ride his green motorbike naman. This time, Liam grabbed my hand, as if asking me to take his bike back and he was on the bridge of crying.  So I consoled him telling him that Hannah is just borrowing his bike.  I think he didn’t agree with me, cause in his own way, he said:  “Hana, rayd duwan.” (Hannah, ride other one while he points to his red bike).  Medyo proud moment ko ‘to as he was able to express himself.

The other day naman, while Liam is riding his rented Car Cart in SM, a 4yr old kid suddenly approached him and hit him on the chest.  Liam did not cry, I don’t think ganun din kalakas un. Pero I was shocked.  Liam ignored him lang and continued driving his car.  Donna even cried kasi sya daw ang nasaktan para kay Liam.

I, on the other hand, got so mad at the action, not at the kid (by the way, I think the older kid has a little psych problem, so I don’t really think it’s his fault).  I thought parents should be teaching their kids or if they already know their child have tendencies to hit other kids, they always need to be alert.  I know di naman maiiwasan that parents want their kids to be exposed, to enjoy din kahit pa ba may problem ung bata e.  Pero they need to be on the look out lagi.  Gusto ba nila sa kanila mangyari un? For their kids to be hurt by others? haaaay…

Anyway, with all these incidents, here are my realizations:

  1. Liam is a good kid.
  2. Liam knows how to fight for what he wants, we just have to motivate him to continue doing so.
  3. Dino and I are doing something right.  The fact that Liam don’t spank other kids, or grab other’s toys and doesn’t fight back when he was hit, means he is not exposed to violence.  He don’t even know what spanking is.  We never tried to spank him nor threat him with spanking.
  4. I don’t really want Liam to be a bully.  Ayaw ko rin ng sakit sa ulo. hehe
  5. I just want Liam to learn to defend for himself when he is older.   Huwag magpa-agrabyado sa iba.

Well, am happy with my realizations for now.  Makes my worries less and gives me better goals.  hehehe … I know we have a long way to go pa.  Kaya I will always pray pa din for God to guide us for the years to come.

Oh by the way, here’s a pic of Liam on his red bike. (A Birthday gift from Ninang Tita and Lola Ninang)

Liam: “Can we buy this please?”

Anak, if you are reading this now, you might not be the same as what am describing above. Nonetheless, you are still well loved and we respect you for who you are and who you will be.   Eto naman e sa ngayong 2 years old ka pa lang.   Daddy and Mommy will always be proud of you whoever or whatever you choose to be.

 

PS:  These are just my thoughts.. Others may think otherwise..

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2 thoughts on “Do You Want Your Kid to be a Bully?

  1. I am so proud of Liam! But I am more proud of you and Dino. You’re both doing a good job raising him.

    And I couldn’t agree more when you said Liam is not exposed to violence kaya ganyan ang kanyang disposition. I, too, want him to enjoy his childhood being a kid, unlike yung iba na natutuwa pag expert sa pagiling-giling mga anak nila or sa video games na puro violence. It doesn’t look right in my eyes at all (sorry po, opinion ko lang po).

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